Somatic Therapy and healing Attachment Wounds

Understanding Attachment Styles and Healing Through Somatic Therapy

Our earliest relationships lay the foundation for how we connect with others throughout our lives, influencing our sense of connection and relational dynamics. Your body is imprinted deeply by these highly dependent and formative attachments, shaping your ability to feel secure in relationships. When those early bonds are disrupted or insecure, it can lead to attachment wounds that shape our beliefs about ourselves and our relationships. These wounds can manifest as anxiety, fear of intimacy, difficulty trusting others, or a tendency to recreate unhealthy relationship patterns. While talk therapy can help us understand these patterns

How Somatic Therapy Cultivates Self-Secure Attachment and Healing

With a Somatic Therapy approach, the focus is on the felt wound, the anxiousness, the avoidance and dismissiveness that arose as “protectors” and giving attuned healing directly to the source. A secure attachment with self is also cultivated, as being securely and compassionately attached to the self within reverberates with those outside of the self. It all comes around to feeling safe within, which is crucial for developing secure attachments and overcoming attachment trauma. 

Attachment Styles: A Blueprint for Connection

Attachment theory identifies four main attachment styles:  

  • Secure: Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and independence, have healthy boundaries, and trust their partners, reflecting a transformative relational dynamic.  

  • Anxious-Preoccupied: Those with an anxious-preoccupied style crave closeness, worry about their partner's love, and often seek reassurance.  

  • Dismissive-Avoidant attachment styles can be addressed through holistic approaches in therapy that foster a sense of connection. Individuals with this style value independence, suppress emotions, and may avoid intimacy.  

  • Fearful-Avoidant attachment styles often arise from attachment trauma, leading to a complex interplay of fear and desire for connection. This style is characterized by a desire for closeness coupled with a fear of intimacy, often stemming from past trauma or rejection.  

These styles are often shaped by our early childhood experiences and the responsiveness of our caregivers. When our needs for safety and connection are consistently met, we develop a secure attachment style.

However, when those needs are unmet or inconsistently met, it can lead to insecure attachment patterns that a therapist might help address through psychotherapy.  

The Five Core Wounds and Their Impact on Attachment

The five core wounds – abandonment, rejection, humiliation, betrayal, and injustice – can significantly influence our attachment style. For instance, early experiences of abandonment might lead to an anxious-preoccupied attachment style, characterized by a fear of being alone and a constant need for reassurance, which can be explored in psychotherapy. Rejection can contribute to a dismissive-avoidant style, where individuals protect themselves by suppressing emotions and avoiding vulnerability, often leading to attachment trauma.  

Somatic Therapy: A Body-Centered Approach to Healing emphasizes the transformative power of addressing attachment trauma through the body.

Somatic therapy recognizes that attachment wounds are not just stored in our minds, but also in our bodies. Early experiences of trauma or neglect can imprint in our nervous system, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and difficulty forming secure attachments.  

Somatic therapy helps to address these wounds by:

  • Increasing body awareness: By tuning into our physical sensations, we can begin to identify and understand the specific ways in which our bodies hold onto these past experiences.

  • Regulating the nervous system: attuning to and attending to the underlying fears that are activated and playing out in ways that our caregivers didn’t or couldn't.   

  • Re-establishing a sense of safety: By working with the body's felt sense of safety, somatic therapy can help individuals develop secure attachments and build healthy relationships.  

Examples of Somatic Techniques for Attachment Repair include methods that focus on the body's ability to feel and process relational experiences.

  • Pendulation: This technique involves gently moving between states of activation and relaxation, helping to regulate the nervous system and build resilience in the face of emotional triggers.  

  • Resourcing techniques in therapy can enhance one's ability to feel safe and secure in relationships, countering feelings of insecurity. Identifying and connecting with internal and external resources that provide a sense of safety and comfort.  

  • Boundary work is essential in somatic therapy, promoting a holistic approach to healing attachment issues. Exploring physical and emotional boundaries through movement and body awareness exercises, which can help individuals establish healthy limits in relationships, is a key aspect of somatic attachment therapy.  

  • Communication: Feeling safety in clear and honest communication without fear of losing safety. 

Frequently Asked Questions

What is somatic therapy and how does it relate to healing attachment wounds?

Somatic therapy is a form of psychotherapy that integrates the mind and body to promote healing and well-being. It focuses on the body’s relationship with developmental experiences, particularly in the context of attachment. Attachment wounds can occur when early relationships fail to provide a sense of safety and security, leading to insecurity in future relationships. Through somatic attachment therapy, clients learn to attune to their bodily sensations, facilitating a deeper understanding of their emotional states and fostering the ability to feel safe and connected.

How does attachment theory inform somatic therapy practices?

Attachment theory posits that early relationships with caregivers shape our emotional and social development. Somatic therapy incorporates this understanding by exploring how different attachment styles affect one’s nervous system and overall emotional health. By recognizing these patterns, clients can work through attachment issues and develop a more secure attachment style, enhancing their sense of connection and resilience.

What are some common symptoms of attachment trauma?

Individuals who experience attachment trauma may exhibit symptoms such as emotional dysregulation, difficulty in forming healthy relationships, and persistent feelings of insecurity. They may struggle with a lack of trust, anxiety in social situations, and an inability to fully engage in the present moment. Somatic therapies can help individuals regulate their emotional responses and reconnect with their bodies, allowing for a transformative healing process.

Can somatic attachment therapy help individuals with insecure attachment styles?

Yes, somatic attachment therapy is particularly beneficial for individuals with insecure attachment styles. This approach encourages clients to explore their bodily sensations and emotional patterns, helping them cultivate a felt sense of safety and security. By addressing the root causes of their attachment wounds, clients can develop healthier relational dynamics and a more secure attachment style.

What role does the nervous system play in somatic therapy?

The nervous system plays a central role in somatic therapy by serving as the body’s communication network, processing sensory information, and regulating responses to internal and external stimuli. It helps maintain homeostasis and is essential for understanding how trauma and stress are stored in the body. Somatic therapy works with the nervous system to regulate emotional triggers, rebuild a sense of safety, and promote healing through techniques like body awareness and nervous system regulation. This approach taps into the CNS and PNS to address both physical and emotional well-being.

Final Thoughts

By addressing the body's role in attachment, somatic therapy offers a powerful pathway to healing old wounds, developing secure attachments, and creating more fulfilling relationships through a relational lens. It's about learning to trust our bodies, regulate our emotions, and cultivate a sense of safety and connection within ourselves and with others.

About The Author

Andria Lea is Brooklyn N.Y. native. She is a certified Somatic Therapist with the Somatic Therapy Center. She is a Somatic Rubenfeld Synergist, is trained in Integrative Synergy and IFS; internal family systems. She is also a member of the The United States Association of Body Psychology & International Association of Rubenfeld Synergists.

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