Our earliest relationships lay the foundation for how we connect with others throughout our lives. Your body is imprinted deeply by these highly dependent and formative attachments. When those early bonds are disrupted or insecure, it can lead to attachment wounds that shape our beliefs about ourselves and our relationships. These wounds can manifest as anxiety, fear of intimacy, difficulty trusting others, or a tendency to recreate unhealthy relationship patterns. While talk therapy can help us understand these patterns.

With a Somatic Therapy approach, the focus is on the felt wound, the anxiousness, the avoidance and dismissiveness that arose as “protectors” and giving attuned healing directly to the source. A secure attachment with self is also cultivated, as being securely and compassionately attached to the self within reverberates with those outside of the self. It alls comes around to feeling safe within.

Attachment Styles: A Blueprint for Connection

Attachment theory identifies four main attachment styles:

Secure: Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and independence, have healthy boundaries, and trust their partners.
Anxious-Preoccupied: Those with an anxious-preoccupied style crave closeness, worry about their partner's love, and often seek reassurance.
Dismissive-Avoidant: Individuals with this style value independence, suppress emotions, and may avoid intimacy.
Fearful-Avoidant: This style is characterized by a desire for closeness coupled with a fear of intimacy, often stemming from past trauma or rejection.

These styles are often shaped by our early childhood experiences and the responsiveness of our caregivers. When our needs for safety and connection are consistently met, we develop a secure attachment style. However, when those needs are unmet or inconsistently met, it can lead to insecure attachment patterns.

The Five Core Wounds and Their Impact on Attachment

The five core wounds – abandonment, rejection, humiliation, betrayal, and injustice – can significantly influence our attachment style. For instance, early experiences of abandonment might lead to an anxious-preoccupied attachment style, characterized by a fear of being alone and a constant need for reassurance. Rejection can contribute to a dismissive-avoidant style, where individuals protect themselves by suppressing emotions and avoiding vulnerability.

Somatic Therapy: A Body-Centered Approach to Healing

Somatic therapy recognizes that attachment wounds are not just stored in our minds, but also in our bodies. Early experiences of trauma or neglect can imprint in our nervous system, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and difficulty forming secure attachments.

Somatic therapy helps to address these wounds by:

Increasing body awareness: By tuning into our physical sensations, we can begin to identify and understand the specific ways in which our bodies hold onto these past experiences.
Regulating the nervous system: attuning to and attending to the underlying fears that are activated and playing out in ways that our caregivers didn’t or couldn't.
Re-establishing a sense of safety: By working with the body's felt sense of safety, somatic therapy can help individuals develop secure attachments and build healthy relationships.

Examples of Somatic Techniques for Attachment Repair

Pendulation: This technique involves gently moving between states of activation and relaxation, helping to regulate the nervous system and build resilience in the face of emotional triggers.
Resourcing: Identifying and connecting with internal and external resources that provide a sense of safety and comfort.
Boundary work: Exploring physical and emotional boundaries through movement and body awareness exercises, which can help individuals establish healthy limits in relationships.
Communication: Feeling safety in clear and honest communication without fear of losing safety.

By addressing the body's role in attachment, somatic therapy offers a powerful pathway to healing old wounds, developing secure attachments, and creating more fulfilling relationships. It's about learning to trust our bodies, regulate our emotions, and cultivate a sense of safety and connection within ourselves and with others.

Somatic Therapy and healing Attachment Wounds