The Somatic Approach to Boundaries: Honoring the Sense of Self

Boundaries aren’t just about saying no—they’re about knowing where you end and begin. If you grew up in a home where boundaries were blurred, where you had to manage other people’s emotions to stay safe, or where your sense of self got tangled up in meeting others' needs, then boundaries might feel confusing. Somatic therapy takes a different approach. Instead of treating boundaries like rules, it helps you feel them in your body. It’s about reclaiming your space, not as a defense mechanism, but as a way of coming home to yourself.

Feeling Boundaries Instead of Just Thinking About Them A lot of boundary work focuses on communication—what to say, when to say it, and how to enforce it. But if you’ve ever tried setting a boundary and felt an immediate sense of guilt, fear, or even panic, you know that knowing what to do isn’t the same as being able to do it. That’s where somatic therapy comes in. Boundaries aren’t just ideas; they’re felt experiences. Your body already knows what it feels like to be too open, too closed off, or just right. The work is about learning to recognize those signals and trust them.

Breaking Free from Codependency & Enmeshment If you grew up in a family where love was conditional, where you had to put other people’s needs first to avoid conflict or abandonment, boundaries might feel unnatural. Somatic therapy helps untangle those patterns by:

  • Helping you notice the physical sensations that come up when you overextend yourself or ignore your own needs.

  • Using grounding exercises to help you stay present with your own experience, even in relationships.

  • Teaching you to recognize the difference between deep connection and emotional entanglement—so you can be close to others without losing yourself in them.

Boundaries as a Way to Honor Who You Are Boundaries aren’t just about protection. They’re about self-respect. When you have a clear sense of where you end and others begin, it’s not just easier to say no—it’s easier to say yes to the things that truly matter. Somatic therapy helps you:

  • Feel the weight of your own presence so you don’t need external validation to know you’re enough.

  • Practice holding space for yourself—literally feeling what it’s like to take up space, to exist without shrinking.

  • Understand what flexible, rigid, and porous boundaries feel like in real time, so you can navigate relationships with more confidence.

Your Sense of Self is Your Foundation At its core, boundaries are about you. Not what others expect from you. Not what you were taught growing up. But you—your values, your needs, your sense of who you are. When you’re able to inhabit your body with trust and ease, boundaries start to feel less like a struggle and more like a natural extension of self-worth. Somatic therapy helps you:

  • Anchor into your body so you can feel your own worth beyond what you do for others.

  • Recognize that just being—not performing, fixing, or managing—is valuable.

  • Trust that your emotions, instincts, and sensations are real and worth listening to.

Somatic therapy flips the script on boundaries. Instead of treating them like a set of rules to follow, it teaches you how to be with yourself in a way that naturally clarifies where you end and others begin. It’s not about cutting people off or building walls—it’s about coming home to yourself, honoring your own presence, and moving through the world with a sense of grounded, embodied clarity.